Destinations and Delineations
Hello to all!
Blog time.
Finally!
oh but this one is not gonna be serious art creative style like the last one.
just an fyi
ok
It's November and I finally have some breathing room (queue waiting room by fugazi). Oh my god I've been so much busier than I've ever been. I've gotten so bad at responding to texts, big difference from how I was over the summer when I was hitting everyone up all the time. Woof.
I only have a month left in Madrid. AHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHH. Say it ain't so! The time flew by so quickly! I'm lowkey jealous of the people who get to stay here a whole year. So many places I didn't get to see yet still so many more flights to book! I have to wait until Monday or Tuesday now because they get way more expensive over the weekend.
Here are all the places I've gone so far:
- Buitrago del Lozoya kayaking trip
- San Agustín de Guadalix hiking trip
- Seville
- London
- Toledo
- Málaga
- Lisbon
- Segovia on Monday
- Barcelona next weekend
- Ireland for Thanksgiving
- Morocco (Marrakesh)
- Granada (neeeeeed to see the Alhambra)
- Córdoba
"why do i feel afraid of going back to new york. whats waiting for me there? I'm afraid of the people i'll have to see. hey. snap out of it! what about the people you want to see! does that outweigh the bad? it should but why doesnt it feels like that. stop being sad and do your homework. idiot."
Now that my time in Madrid is close to ending the thoughts of New York are returning. Some friends are homesick for New York, the only thing I really really miss is getting a blt and a zona at a deli. I've made some banger bacon egg and cheeses on bagels since getting here, thank god I'm in Madrid at a time when they have bagels available at Mercadona.
It's crazy that I'm worried about going back because of a few people that I see at shows. Hello I have a whole life outside of that, so many more friends, but still I just dread it. How can they still make me cry even when I haven't spoken to them in months? I let out a big cry the other day, first actual sad cry of my time in Madrid. I was upset I cried because I was on a good roll, a streak of no crying. I had been so so so happy and grateful and appreciative of everything and everyone. I had come close to crying out of happiness multiple times. But now it's cold and the end is in sight and people are complicated and there's just so much happening. There are so many loose threads I haven't been able to gather for months, hence not responding to texts.
Speaking of loose threads
I've been sewing up my friend's clothes and its been awesome. I get food as a reward, best outcome. I never really eat out here in Madrid but my friends say the food here sucks. In a pinch I go buy a wrap from a kebab place, it's the closest I can get to Greek food without spending an arm and a leg. I'm so excited to eat in Greece!
I've been cooking ! I'm so proud of myself, I've been able to cook some goooood foooood. I neverrr cooked in New York cuz I'm on NYU meal plan plus my mom cooks like a boss so when I return home for the summer I don't need to be feeding myself. But now I've cooked so many dishes and it's awesome. I was worried I would only be eating chicken and rice but I can't bring myself to make a plain chicken and rice, chicken stroganoff yes, chicken soup yes, and that's all the chicken recipes I've made. Oh my god I found this amazinggggg broccoli pasta recipe it is orgasmic, whenever I want something easy I go buy a head of broccoli and make that. It's so cool that I can just make food that I want. Granted, I'm still limited on what recipes I can make cuz I don't want to buy ingredients I will only use once. I have some dijon mustard in the fridge I need to start using up. I've cut myself a few times, most recently when I was peeling a potato. no scars! I might get a scar on my foot from when I scraped it on a rock in Málaga.
My last time swimming in a body of water was October 17th in Málaga. I was sooooo happyyyyy. I was geeked with excitement even though it wasn't ideal beach weather (kinda cloudy :/) but I didn't care I was dipping in and out of the water it was so awesome. I love the water. But I hate the rain.
Just as I was about to type in here I'm so glad it doesn't rain much in Madrid, I check the weather app and guess what, it's gonna rain on Monday until Friday. Fml. At least it's not gonna be evil NYC rain. I heard about some crazy rain that hit new york, glad I wasn't there lol L.
New York do you miss me? I'm excited to see some people. OH OH OH AND AND AND OH MY GOD I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS RESEARCH THING I GOT ACCEPETED INTO. have you ever heard of a little ol guy named David Wojnarowicz? Well.. if you know who he is you'll be very excited to know that I GET TO DO ARCHIVAL RESEARCH WITH THE DAVID WOJNAROWICZ PAPERS IN THE NYU SPECIAL COLLECTIONS!!! Only me and 3 (THREEEEE) other students!!!! Oh my god I'm so excited. I screamed so much when I got the acceptance email. I can't wait to meet the other people. next semester! That's something I'm really looking forward to. I also want to do a road trip at some point when I get back. I'm getting my license when I return so catch me on the snowy streets hitting cyclists (only fixie riders).
I brought books here and I was so worried that I would run out of books based on the rate that I was reading over the summer but damn I have not been reading like that at all. All my time is split between school, hanging out with friends, and travelling. When I travel I only bring my journal to incentivize myself to write. I have not been journaling as much as I wanted to. Yada yada yada yeah yeah yeah. I haven't made a new zine issue. I have a lotttt of material but I have not gotten the gust of inspiration to make a new zine.
I just picked at the remnants of a blister on my chest. Trans tape I wore on Halloween leaving its mark. I didn't even get to take the two photos I wanted to. My original costume idea was Richard Hell, I went and bought a red button down (4 euros) to recreate the Destiny Street Demos album cover and also a friend had gotten me a blazer to use for fabric but it also would work perfectly to recreate the Blank Generation album cover. However the tape started coming off before the recreations could be taken. When I went out on Halloween I last second pivoted to lumberjack costume cuz it was cold and I needed more warmth than what the red button down (that's too big on me :/) could provide.
My hair is getting long. I cut it in September but it's getting close to trim time again! It's just such a hassleeeee to cut my hair, so much thinking. maybe I should do something crazy like go to a professional. Gasp. I can't believe I would even suggest that. I still have a bit more time before the hair is officially too long, maybe I should go for a crazy haircut. lol no I'm not doing that. maybe I should just go really short. Readers worry not because my rat tails are still here and kicking! I have not cut them at all ever and they are very long. I need to redo them tomorrow.
Tomorrow I'm going to an event I'm very excited about! learned about it from some people I met at a show I went to on Halloween. Wednesday is the general strike, I'm also really excited about that. There have been so many "general strikes" in the states that just feel solely online. Like ok I won't buy anything that day but nothing else really happens. It's so cool being in Madrid while all these protests are happening. Even when I was in Málaga there were fliers and tags about the strike. I wish I was fluent in Spanish.
My Spanish has gotten a lot better! If someone speaks clearly and annunciates I can kinda understand what they are saying. French def helps with the grammar and verbage. Greek helps with the pronunciation its awesome I don't have an American accent. I know the basic phrases like no creo que si, vale, yo también, etc etc etc I can't think of anything else.
Oh guys! I'm taking a sketching class where have to do 5 daily sketches a week and I've been drawing a lot of railings. It's so awesome I've gotten really good at it. My only problem with the class is that its 2 credits yet I have put the most hours of work into it. Those daily sketches rarely ever get done on the actual day. But hey, they get done. I did two and a half today, half because it was really complicated and I gave up.
Looking throught my files to find my sketchbook scans I got reminded that I got film developed and I got some great photos, here are some:
and here are some from my summer roll that I got developed and get to get rescanned cuz the first scans were horrible:
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| my mom took this one of me lol |
- movies: have only watched one movie solo, I watch a lot with friends, haven't seen that many movies tho. oh my god watched la bola negra, amazingggggg. have to go to Granada after that.
- music: uhhh lots of Kimya Dawson and Jeffrey Lewis recently. downloaded dirt just an error full album, I love when I can find full albums, I'm so mad there isn't Connie Converse full album.
- books: the only book I've been reading is Queens by Pickles. Got it in the gay book store in London (Gay's The Word) in the secondhand section. only 6 pounds and there is writing on the inside cover from 1995, so cooool. Have not touched the book I borrowed from NYU library in September nor the rest of the books I brought here. lol.
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